Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and then use the flash films/games as being the icing about the teenage-annoyance cake. Then when the editor pushed #1 for me, I had been suspicious.
At the beginning, I figured to inquire about: “How do you realize I accustomed to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not merely, if I was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to track down younger me but, basically if i was right, he will know I had been to the bastard. Then your editor would foil my life plans by occasionally whispering in my ear: “hey, keep this in mind gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence I have got left.
Like most narratives, I was asked who’s tale it was actually. So, one a little water on the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this became an online multiplayer title, I thought I’d hide how I’d be examining this game having a critical eye included in my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the foot of a pile, in the bad world seeking to shoot you in the back of your head. Or perhaps a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. Therefore I did the most obvious thing: I blew with the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging all of the circle with names about them. Yes, the aesthetic could be recreated with MS Paint and the one thing that is certainly missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the choice of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something which became immediately obvious was that in case I planned to live longer than a youngster in a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i would have to pick regen at some point. Without them, I would personally be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked basically if i wanted a unit-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or so as to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly just like a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the kind of simpleton to perform as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, from the fear of confusion otherwise, I went with the assault rifle option in my tank.
In the long run, like the majority of things, my time with Diep.io came to a stop after i began picking fights along with other players. Even with the very best damage output I could possibly muster, one of the most speed, a huge regen pool, plus more health than I knew how to handle, other players were quickly able to put me during my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside by having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.